Stuff’n’Stuff 10: Let’s Make Moar Shovelware!!!

There is this thing, called stupidity. You probably heard of it – it’s really trendy this time o’year. Really on the rise.

With all the “fucks” being cut from this post (well most of them) it should be pretty short.

So, here is some wisdom, folks, straight from “those who know better”:

• If you make a game, do not make something for players to enjoy, like fun. Make something ugly, and ask money to make it… well less ugly.
• Do not give a fuck about players. Cuz why would you? It’s not like they’re paying you. Or do they? And on a totally unrelated note – why do they?
• Even if it does not increase your profit, you need moar monetization. Don’t you feel rich if you put money from left pocket into the right one?
• If you happen to release something good and it does not require tons of money to pour in the game (can be actually earned) put a price tag on it. Oh, oh, make a good balance and start selling “IWIN” button. Players will love it!
• And testing is for losers.
• Also, only losers write design documents. Real macdaddyz do not need to know how stuff’s gonna work before doing stuff.
• If you do not know how stuff’s gonna work, draw a fucken interface.
• If you’re making a Formula1 simulation, put some weapon customization in it. It worked wonders for Crysis!
• If all your attempts (see above) do not result in increased long-term profit, repeat! And do not even think that you need to keep players engaged (you’d be better off not thinking at all). You do not need those whining fuckers anyway.